lost.*

Saturday, November 12, 2005

why i keep haf this lonely feeling even i haf sum1 to accompany mi. y is all this happen to mi? y dun let it happen earily n i will noe wat to do but noe i cant even do anything n dun even haf the power to make the decision le. i think i rather be in camp den coming out to suffer all this feeling. i think signing on is really suit mi n my life. i dun haf any happiness in mi but i still nid to put up wif so many fake smile when i'm outside. life is so torturing for mi but i dun1 it to end it liddat but who can help mi. all the can gif is jus verbal support n i dun really feel the support tt they say they will gif. it all bull shit.

.lost.`@ 9:48:00 PM

Friday, November 04, 2005

wat had happen to mi? y i keep feeling tis way? i dun like tis feeling, it make mi feel veri veri down till the i dunno wat to do. recently i came across a poster tt say abt depression n the question on the poster sound like wat i feeling now. i dunno wat is depression all abt wat shld i do to see if i really haf depression? i jus wan to haf a normal n happy life y cant i jus haf this simple thing tt i wan? i nid a listening hear n sum1 to show care n concern to mi. i feel veri insecure n emptiness in mi.

.lost.`@ 8:09:00 PM

Monday, October 31, 2005

i'm totally lost. i dunno wat u wan now n i also dunno wat u wan mi to do. now i can say tt i'm in a room of total darkness. we dun talk to each other like wat we use to do in the past n not only tt we were veri like n ordinary friend rather couple. we were not as close as we use to be n everytine we jus like normal friend hugging each other for a few sec n say bye tt it. nother thing is tt i start to feel tt i'm like a chopping board. last time i dun feel this way b4 but as for now u make mi hafing this feeling. i dunno wat had really happen in us. i jus wan the old us back. wat made us become liddat it so painful in mi n u. when can all this come to a stop.

I hate NS. it really a waste of time. it make mi go through all this. even they haf reduce the duration of serving NS but wat i think it still still wasting all our time. haix

In my life i'm a total LOSER. Neither can i control of my life nor being who i wan to be.

.lost.`@ 3:04:00 PM

Saturday, September 24, 2005

ppl said that time can heal everything but to wat i think, time is make thing worst.
ppl had told to get back my trust in u but i cant see the trust in u for mi when i had told myself to trust u. u can say tt i twisting thing here n there but all i wan is tt time will help mi make thing like last time when u listen to mi n i listen to u.

Now i can said tt u haf grow to a different person from wat i noe last time.
so nw all i can do is to jus wait for my heart to re-settle down cos thing had started to say thing to my heart till it will break down any moment.

.lost.`@ 2:34:00 AM

Friday, September 23, 2005

i am a veri ji chuo person. i will pay back how tt person treat mi when i haf the chance i wont give face even is someone who i noe veri well or i love veri much. i will let them feel how i feel n let noe the way they treat mi is cos hhurt to mi.

anyway my world of life is so mes up tt i feel like dying. no1 come n console n or ask abt mi of how i feel. i wont say much if not there will be more thing coming up for mi even there wont be thing coming up i can also feel sth differnt. haix my life is all rubbish.

i hate myself, hate the world, hate the ppl ard mi n most important hate my life.

.lost.`@ 9:52:00 PM

Thursday, September 08, 2005

all i wan is more attention from u n feel more love.
this is wat i wan.

.lost.`@ 4:41:00 PM

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

i start to feel upset n weird as my feeling is totally different.
i start to feel the distance getting bigger n i think all my idea
to keep the distance small doesn't work cos it like it nid 2 hand
to make the sound of the clap happen.
i haf no idea of wat is going to happen next n wat i dreamt
of my future is starting to fade away.
i really dun1 it to happen this way n now all i wish is tt i can
turn back clock n start all over again n haf a gd start.
now all i wan is to get my life back on track n get it going.
life without a smile suck big time.

.lost.`@ 11:53:00 PM